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Tuesday, May 08, 2007 at 2:27 PM

life really really sucks.... i wish there was like some depression meter right in front of my face so that i know when i should go seek help! ew...life sux... haiz...dunno...this whole "moody" thingy has been going on for a couple mths...kinda on-off here and there... juz that recently the sucky-ness reallie starts kicking in.... argh...frustrating...

think i sorta lost my :watever,-juz-whack-first-then-regret-later attitude towards things..... think i kinda had it in my "younger" days (though im still young)..... and i was much happier.... i guess cuz then i was still young and won't reallie think a few steps ahead as to wat will occur pertaining to my decision...and also thinking tat my parents or something will be able to clean up the shit for me... but i cant leave shit for pple to clean all my life right? haiz...i think as i grow older i become more enclosed.... yeah that isnt a good thing.... shit, i reallie need to come out of my shell.... BUT ITS SO HARD!!!damn...i sometimes think way too much that i become indecisive and can't come to a conclusion... i mean, i dun wanna say yes to something tat im not sure if i can commit 100%....wat if there's a contract,like a job?i can't quit if i've already signed a 3mths contract right?wat if i didnt like the job?so i have to live with my wrong decision everyday.... i so hate this part of me... i dun like changes,AT ALL... but i guess if i still dun try hard enuf to accept changes, my life is gonna be ruined...

*****+++*****

on a lighter note, finally met up with some old pals which kinda took my mind off stuff....

met up with ra on sat to celebrate her birthday in advance.... bought her a box of chocolates and a flower... i seriously ran outta ideas as to wat to give her so ya....hopefully she likes it... haha... ur 20 now... TWENTY!!!UR OLD!!!!! :p

then met up with richie on sunday....havent seen him in quite a while cuz we were all busy at some point and he's doing his attachment.... den we met up with eunice and chansey after their work for supper.... havent seen eunice in soo long too... all busy with attachment.....and its even harder cuz of their shift hours...

den on monday i met up with jie...we went back to her school first cuz of some CONTRACT(u see, u see!) stuff....haiz....

Dun worry la...everything will be fine... i really dun think ur future employer is gonna do a detailed back ground check on u or something... dun think its even gonna be a prob actuallie...so dun worry about it ya?everything is gonna be fine....
we went shopping in town...but it was more of her that was doing the shopping...haha....wasnt reallie in the mood to shop...juz dun feel like spending much money...but the food was good... we went to thompson plaza for laksa for dinner...then we headed to prata house for mushroom cheese prata and paper prata....she asked me to add sugar to the paper prata... the sugar rush helped...haha...then we went to icekimo for ice cream + browsed through a couple magazines.... sorry i didnt talk as much as usual...haha...hoped tat didnt bore u out... :) ... den as usual we cabbed home...we'll be meeting next friday for huisi's bdae... speaking of bdae's, may is juz a killer month!!!everyone seems to choose to give birth in may or something... presents+presents+presents=broke.....
k...gotta go..... haiz...depressed...i wanna cry!!!

I'll play for you.